Okay, first and foremost, I am a mobile blogger. I blog from my phone, and there's not really another way for me to do it. Unfortunately, this phone decided it wanted to part ways with me, and is slowly malfunctioning, so I have to send it back and get a new one. Which means, for a few days, I won't be able to share my thoughts and musings with you guys. I'm pretty disappointed, but it'll give me time to come up with some darned good material to write about.
Now, down to brass tacks. Guess what I got corralled into doing tomorrow night?
No?
Okay, I'll tell you. I'm having to go to that kind of embarrassing, kind of awkward social event at the Coupland Dance Hall. Teen Night. (Cue shuddering) It's not so much that I don't like hanging out with my friends in public, and getting all dressed up, and having a reason to wear makeup (I seldom do). It's just that when it comes to situations with most of my classmates, I'm more of a watcher and less of a participant. (Even in my Psychology class, I'd always ask to sit out of group activities or work alone, and that was one of my favorite classes.) It could be sheer paranoia, or realistic thinking, but I just feel like my classmates judge those who don't conform to the masses. I'm certainly not a conformist, and I'm very different. My natural being makes me feel so out of place around students at my high school, and so that's why I dread Teen Night.
It's funny because when I first decided to go, I got all gussied up and I was actually excited. Had I known I was going to get certain looks and be treated like "That weird girl, Cayla", I'd have just worn blue jeans and flannel, like every day.
So tonight, I'm having a bit of a girly moment. I'm completely nervous for Teen Night. No questions. But on the flip side, half of me wants to go all out and dress up. Will it be like letting my guard down last time? Will I be disapponted? And then part of me knows I should show up like everyone always sees me. Plain Jane. Baseball tee, flannel, blue jeans, sneakers, ponytail. Maybe then, I'd feel like normal me in a social situation. I'd be prepared for my classmates to treat me like they usually do, and I'd be fine.
I'm thinking too much, and I hope this one didn't bum you guys out. But there's a dark to light, a tail to a head, and a yang to yin. Plus side, though. In college, no one's gonna know me, and I can totally break out all of the cute maxidresses I've been hiding my entire high school career. Silver lining. (It literally made me smile.)
Making negative into positive since 1996,
Cayla xx
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