So, This Is What I Think About

Today, I was thinking about the failings I've had in the department of love affairs. The truth of the matter is, I always go for the wrong type of guy for me. It's been happening since as long as I can remember, as if I have a radar that can detect boys that are terrible for me. Because of this, I decided it would only be fitting to put into words the things that I want and the problems I've been having.

The problem: It seems like I only go after man-child guys that have nothing going for them or they're too wrapped up in being teenagers to realize that they need to get things done. I actually once almost dated a guy who said he wasn't going to college because he was a professional musician. He was sixteen. I can't reiterate enough how important it is to be mature in certain aspects. The most important being: handle your affairs when it's time to be an adult, you can always revert back to being a man-child later. Sadly enough, I like the guys that can't ever handle their business.

The Solution (Maybe?): I actually broke my unhealthy mold this year and liked a guy that was more mature and had ambition. Let me just say, that was so much fun to see in a person. Before this year, I'd never seen someone so driven in my life. He was just always working toward something, and it's so admirable. In fact, seeing him meet his goals motivated me to set and reach my own goals. That's what I need. I need someone who can handle their own affairs (like a man), reach their own goals and motivate me to reach mine, fascinate me daily and make me laugh all the time, and someone who I can have deep conversation and share my thoughts with.

The problem is, I don't want to be bored, and the seemingly more fun option is the one that's worse for me (ugh, man-children). Who says I can't have a fun relationship with all of the great qualities of the thought-up guy in the third paragraph? The ultimate mix between traditional and modern values. There are six billion people on this planet, so it shouldn't be too hard to find what I think I need.

Do I even know what I want?
Cayla xx