I start entirely too many sentences and conversations with the phrase "So I was thinking and I realized...." I suppose that just means I'm a thinker, but it just jumped out at me today.
Okay, so. I was thinking today and I realized I ALWAYS like someone. Always. It could be the simplest, most shallow attraction, or a completely head over heels situation, but I always have an object of affections. I think part of that may have to do with the fact that I've never had a boyfriend (this is the part where you spit take whatever you happen to be drinking at the moment) or it could be that I like to have a special someone to think about. (I mean, I am a girl.)
I'm going to share something with you all. I have this vision in my head of future me living in a classy suburban house, coming home from work. When I look over, I see my future husband sitting there, still dressed from work. I walk over and sit down next to him and tell him about the kids at school that day (I'm planning to be a teacher) and later, I make dinner and talk to him and we wash dishes together. I'm sure you think that's cheesy or you think "Wow, dishes. That's romantic." But this is just how I see my happy future.
So when I'm attracted to a guy and I'm intrigued enough to observe him, I take this person and plop him right down into the middle of my daydream. What would it be like coming home to this person every night? Could you work together to reach a common goal? Would he be supportive? Does he have the drive it takes to reach the life he wants? All of this from seventeen year old me.
I am always asked the question, "Why don't you ever date anyone?" It isn't because no one is interested. It isn't because I'm shy. It's not as if no one has ever asked me. Here's why. I haven't really found anyone worth it yet. Sure, I fangirl about some new guy all the time. Sometimes, I even get pretty caught up on these guys, but when it comes down to what I want in entirety, no one I've met has made the cut.
I've said it a thousand times and I'll say it again. Never settle for less than what you want. I don't plan on doing that, and it would break my heart to see anyone I know do it either. Even if you have to hold out (like I have with dating. And believe me, it gets lonely), what you get in the end will be well worth the wait. It has to be, doesn't it?
The romance doctor/philosopher,
Cayla xx
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